so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
