So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
