So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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