so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
