If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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