there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
