I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
