How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i dont even know how to be here
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
