but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
