Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
