We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
