you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
