I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
