my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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