This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
