Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
