She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
