Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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