i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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