Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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