My room smells like vodka and shame
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
