Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
