watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize