apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
