Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
