My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
