An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
