i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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