Texts From Last Night · biggoob's Favorites

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biggoob's Favorites Texts:

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(618): View more from Illinois

This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.

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(817): View more from Texas

In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.

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(212): View more from New York

Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.

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