Texts From Last Night · omegalycos1432's Favorites

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omegalycos1432's Favorites Texts:

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(573): View more from Missouri

The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season

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(804): View more from Virginia

third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem

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(765): View more from Indiana

i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring

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(210): View more from Texas

Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i think i scared a bird with my dick

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(515): View more from Iowa

Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.

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(804): View more from Virginia

finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

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(251): View more from Alabama

As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"

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