a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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