Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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