I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
