She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
