True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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