if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
