She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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