Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
