You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
