I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
