Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can I color on your dick again?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
