he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
