why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
