just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
