I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
