She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
