It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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