Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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