I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
