Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
